“Always Free and Worth Every Penny”

It happens millions of times every day…. in millions of offices – and now more often on conference calls – …. and while the content varies dramatically, the worn out rituals, roles and results rarely do….

…. the meeting starts a couple minutes after the top of the hour…. The banal social banter stretches a couple of minutes:  “how are you ?”  “fine, how are you?”…… “fine, where are you today?” ….. “any plans for the weekend?” …..

… the leader goes the through the obligatory check of the agenda….. discussion starts …. 5 minutes later a few more people join with the required apology…. the meeting starts again …… a dog barks in the background of someone calling in from their home office…..

….the words go back and forth…. topics come and go….. opinions and perspectives are voiced…. updates are reported with the enthusiasm of disease outbreaks….

….it is all very polite….. and stiflingly predictable – like the 8,000^th production of CATS ….

…each player in the meeting performs their role with rote precision….

one person is “The Bully” and pushes their specific agenda….. for faster action…. And gruffly asks that several things be done right away…

Another plays “The Soother” and attempts to bridge differences and provide excuses for those who aren’t interested or adept at voicing excuses for any shortcomings

“The Promoter” makes sure that his/her accomplishments … or more likely, pseudo accomplishments are highlighted at least once…. better twice…..

“The Organizer” points out that there are 2 more agenda items and only 15 minutes left, mentions a couple of vague action items and announces that the follow up call will be organized soon

We can always count on one or more people performing a special role…. I don’t have a cute name for them …. They are adept at AMOT – Annoying Mention of the Obvious and Trivial – “ This needs to be coordinated with Marketing” or “have we reviewed this with Tom ?” “This will have an impact on next year’s budget”

These tedious discussions are painful torture …. Water boarding has nothing on a 2 hour 3^rd round budget review… it is so very hard to focus… people are speaking but not saying anything …the words sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher speaking

…. it seems like most people are multi tasking in the background…. Occasionally someone fails to respond to a question and is gets busted for  doing something else and not listening…. Everyone knows the “I was on Mute” excuse…..  

the script most certainly  includes someone pushing someone to get something done faster, better and/or with fewer resources….   And each of the players has a dozen well rehearsed ways of deferring the question and avoiding making specific commitments

- “I have to check with Nancy on that”
-  “We are in the middle of the XXXX process and cannot really do anything until that is finished”
-  “we might be able to do that….. buuuuuuut given the change in XXXXX lately, I am just not sure”
- “We have not seen that be successful – it could work, but budgets are really tight.”
- “That might cause a big legal (finance, PR, production, customer, channel, service, etc etc) issue – we can do it if you really want – but it could cause problems that I don’t think our Boss wants to see”

And the session ends with half hearted agreements to “I will follow up on that” or “let’s get together on X”…….

You can be forgiven if you happen to feel “wasn’t I in this same meeting last year? …. And the year before… and the year before ?”  … because you were….  

As millions of people grind through these perfunctory meetings, shockingly little is accomplished – deep problem solving is the exception, few decisions are made, new insights are scarce and excitement or passion is rare …….it is a little depressing to think of the vast amount of human energy and potential wasted in these gatherings……

Yet there are some meetings that are distinctly different…. You feel it when join…something invisible and intangible has silently slipped into the production…. maybe it is mixed in the air…. Or part of the lighting….. or included in the score……

….. the social banter up front is genuine…. a bit more specific “ your son’s playoff game is this weekend right?”  The updates are brutally honest – without recrimination…. The goal and vision seems to be understood and shared…. Even if it is not explicitly stated….

….the conversation flow is unique…filled with commitment…. here is also a commitment of being honest….the real issues are raised and new insights are solutions are debated and explored

if something is not working people say so…. If someone needs help it is raised without recrimination. Individuals and teams commit to specific actions – or say they cannot commit…..  – the meetings end clear direction, specific decisions and with a sense of accomplishment and time well spent….

It seems like the meetings that end with commitment and clarity are far outnumbered by the ritual gatherings by quite a margin…

If only someone would do something to make more meetings have greater impact and better results…..It would be really nice to find someone to blame for the mindless meetings I attend…. It would be nice to defer any obligation or for change to someone else…. That way I could continue to politely attend and deftly avoid any commitment and clarity…….. somehow that does not feel quite right…….

…… maybe we should call a meeting and discuss this…….

Related Posts

Five Signs You Might be in a Worthless Meeting

Ride to the Guns  

 
Editor

 

Interesting unrelated facts:

• And Now You Know – petrichor  - the name of the pleasant smell that often accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather in certain regions
• Pollyanna, a children’s classic, was published in 1913 by Eleanor H. Porter. Over 15 sequels were written. The title character’s name became the popular term for people who are over optimistic.  
• Oreos international expansion has spawned over 15 unique flavors to meet special tasts of local consumers – OK, but Green Tea ??
• Austerity – not likely – most developed countries have run deficits for the last 35 years  Great chart from the Economist

                                                                               “Always Free and Worth Every Penny”

Years ago a well known radio commentator, Paul Harvey , started a short segment radio show called The Rest of the Story that highlighted unusual or forgotten aspects of well known events or famous people……

 A few weeks ago we observed the 100^th anniversary of the dramatic and tragic end of the Titanic ….well today, Friday Thoughts brings you the rest of that story….

Mayonnaise  was most likely derived its name from port city of Mahon on the island of Minorca in Spain. ….. but it was probably first created hundreds, if not thousands, of years earlier by a Greek or French chef who mixed olive oil and eggs and spices to come up with a sweet and tasty addition for many dishes…… 

Around 1900, an English chef, Oscar Hellman , created a special creamy recipe with better flavor than any other mayonnaise – he then took advantage of new canning processes so he could preserve and sell his product across the country……his special recipe was very popular was soon being used by discerning chefs across Europe.

In 1909 a group of Mexican chefs visiting London discovered Hellman’s and brought back some of the prized mayonnaise and began experimenting with bold and creative additions to Mexican cuisine. One of the those chefs, Francisco Madero, was also a politician and leader in the Mexican revolution – he was subsequently elected President in November 1911.

In addition to the political reforms he was introducing, Madero wanted to bring something new to the Mexican people. As a lover of great food, he planned a nationwide food festival to celebrate the new government and introduce this new condiment to Mexican cuisine. 20,000 jars of the famous mayonnaise were ordered and news of the shipment made headlines …….. the new President and all leading chefs in Mexico eagerly awaited the delivery.

As fate would have it, the prized Hellman’s was shipped aboard the Titanic and was scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, the next port of call for the Titanic after New York.

As we know, the ship never made it to New York and the cargo was forever lost.

It took several days for news of the tragedy to reach Mexico and President Madero was devastated by the loss. His anguish was so great that he cancelled the festival and declared a national day of mourning ….it is still observed each year on May 5 and known, of course, as  ……..Sinko De Mayo.

And now you know the rest of the story…..

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Just Pain Disgusting

But Seriously….  

Enjoy the celebration !

Editor

Interesting unrelated facts:

•  There are some who believe Cinco de Mayo —or the 5^th  of May—commemorates the 1862 Mexican army’s victory at the Battle of Puebla in the Franco-Mexican War (1861-1867). It is a relatively minor holiday in Mexico and Canada.
• The Mayo Clinic  was founded by Dr. William Worrall Mayo, who settled in Rochester, Minn., in 1863. His sons, Drs. William James Mayo and Charles Horace Mayo, joined his practice in 1883 and 1888.
• The Mayo Clinic has an office in Mexico City. It is unclear how the office celebrates Cinco de Mayo.