“Always Free….. and Worth Every Penny”

 

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”   Socrates

I am just crazy busy right now…. You see, I am very important….I am not sure you appreciate just how important I am…. I get hundreds of emails every day – very important emails….. they come in faster than I can manage. That’s because I have back to back appointments every day – from 7 AM to 7 or 8 or even 9 PM. These are very critical, calls, meetings, conference calls…… these meetings are stacked up behind each other like flights at O’Hare after a summer thunderstorm….  Outlook can barely handle all the overlaps, double/triple bookings, time zones……

There are key decisions to be made, input given, counsel dispensed, teams to lead, staff to guide…… I know I am important because Outlook shows me how busy I am…. I am so important it takes weeks to get an appointment with me…. Of course, if the issue is important enough, I will allow the appointment to be moved up in line ahead of someone less important.

The good news is I can really multi task – I hate to do it ……but these are important things that must be handled. I do email, text and IM while I am on a conference call……

I was having a good week – my calendar was stuffed fuller than a preacher’s pocket at river baptism – I was making decisions, handling calls, pushing through meetings….

But on Thursday afternoon some strange things started to happen…..right before my 1 PM important call I get a message that it is cancelled.  Can you believe the nerve!!?? Cancelling a call on me?  ….at the last minute??!!  I am the one who cancels calls!

I quickly move to my list of overdue calls to people waiting to hear from me… and call the first person on the list…no answer….strange…. Is it possible they don’t have Caller ID ??  I move to the second call on the list…. No answer !!  The third person on the list…. No answer !!!  What the hell?? Don’t these people realize I am calling them?

The gap of time with nothing to do is startling… and uncomfortable…I am temporarily disoriented…but I start working the backlog of important email – I must use my precious time efficiently.

…. I am getting a bit jumpy and bored as the clock approaches 2 PM – I get on the next important call promptly at 2…. I am the first one on the call…..very unusual – typically people are waiting for me….. no one joins…. I get an email at 2:03 the call was cancelled – WHAT THE HELL !!! ????!!!!

I return to my call list – no one has called back yet…. I start calling again – no one answers.  My mind starts to race and my pulse picks up…. I am not quite sure what to do with the time…. Then I begin to imagine the worst…..maybe this is not a coincidence…. Could I have been fired and everyone knows but me? No one wants to talk to me because I am no longer important????

….or worse…. Oh…even worse….was my rival Mr. Ambitious promoted above me?  ….and everyone wants to talk to him instead of me??

My heart runs to fear…. The empty space of time has confused me…confronted me ….. my compulsion to be busy has been a sedative…. Making me numb……. Numb to the subtle shifts happening in our business and our customers….. unaware of what our employees are really thinking….

I have filled my time to look and feel busy….. because as long as I am busy I feel I am important….. aren’t all busy people important ??  aren’t all important people really busy?  Crazy busy? As I reflect I can see now that many (most??) of those meetings and calls are mindless activity…. It gives the illusion of progress and importance….

When people ask me how I am doing I impulsively tell them how crazy busy I am – it somehow conveys that I am important….I have value…. I cringe at the thought of telling someone that I am all caught up – sure I have time to chat….

All the activity has tossed me around like a leaf in a stream….. I am so immersed in being busy I am just going along for the ride….

How do I let go of this insecurity of needing to make myself busy ? How do I take back time to sense or changing where I am going….

This is not a “stop and smell the roses” thing….this is slowing down long enough to know why I am in the garden in the first place…. Is the garden where I really need to be? If so – what needs to be done here… If I should not be in the garden now – where should I be ?

The cult of busy  has driven me to get an inflated sense of importance… and clouded the most important issues of direction and purpose….

 

                   “It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”      Henry David Thoreau

 

Related Posts:

In Praise of Idleness

Passively busy…. actively waiting

 

Walt

 

Interesting unrelated facts:

Which is correct ? “Beck and call” or “Beckon call”?

Humans and giraffes both have seven vertebrae bones in the neck.

The term bootleggers came from illegal whiskey runners who put flasks in their boots.

 

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“Always Free and Worth Every Penny”

Jimmy Buddin was, in every sense of the word, a bully……at least what a bully was in in 1967….. I was in 3^rd grade at Ebinport Elementary and Jimmy was the tough guy…. He would push people down in the playground ….. force his way to the front of the line…. take the cookie from other kids’ lunches….. but no one pushed back because they were afraid he would turn on them – and they were right – he would…he was clever enough to get others to gang up on  someone…… we were all afraid of Jimmy…

One Saturday we are playing pickup football at the school – just a couple of blocks from my house….. I can replay it in my mind now…. Jimmy Buddin is guarding me…. it is a brilliantly executed pattern with an amazing catch and 50 yard run for the winning touchdown as the clock runs out…. Crowd roars, confetti streams down …..OK …maybe it was really a   3 yard toss and I ran a couple steps past Mike’s bike ….which was the goal line….

Jimmy is really angry that I scored against him…. He comes over and pushes me down…. I get up and he pushes me down again…. I get up and he kicks me….. I run home holding back tears…..

My dad sees me and asks what happened…. I explain and he gets mad….”Are you a baby ?!  Are you a little baby ?!!!  You march your ass back up to the school and punch Jimmy right in the face !! …..and don’t come home until its done!!”

I can feel my face burning…. I am embarrassed and shaking with some potent mix of fear, rage and shame…… tears pour down my face as I walk into the school yard….

Jimmy yells “Here comes the little cry baby!!” and laughs…… I march right up and push him to the ground…. He is shocked…Before he can get up I am on top of him punching away with abandoned rage … I take one hard, direct hit to the eye…. I am crying out loud as I flail my fists at Jimmy’s face ….. he hits my face as he pushes me back… suddenly  blood is everywhere….  He busted my nose!!…I am thankful as Mike pulls me away…..

…..and then I see it…. It’s not me….Jimmy’s nose looks like a red geyser….. he runs away…..

I suspect that my dad’s parental intervention would not meet with approval from modern experts…. today we would have counseling sessions on anger, negotiating and using words to share our feelings…..

But I cannot imagine a better way for me to have learned about bullies – who they are… how they act ….how to respond…..

And from that time I have seen and experienced bullies in many forms and forums…. I now know that most are deeply insecure…. They know they don’t measure up in some way… so they manage through fear and intimidation…. They prey on those in weaker positions…. They smell even the smallest advantage … and use it to get their way and threaten and coerce others….. they surround themselves with weak sycophants – who accept the bullying because they get protection from their submission and acquiescence…..

We see bullies in business and in all organizations….. we all know people  who are aggressive or have tempers….. but bullies are different… their moral standard is low… their purpose is to protect themselves ….they lead others to gang up on anyone who is weak…or opposes them… Make themselves feel powerful….

…but the tough image and actions are quite superficial….. when the difficult times com or they encounter someone who is not intimidated ….the tables can turn….

like here……

It is often difficult for a single individual to make a difference against a powerful bully…. But we all have a collective responsibility to expose the bullies….. undermine them…. And stand up to them…. We know these confrontations don’t always have fairy tale endings…. I was lucky Jimmy didn’t bash my head in….

It took me a while to figure out it was easy to stand up when I was personally being attacked….but it is harder – but even more important to intervene when someone else is being bullied – simply standing by and letting it happen is effectively endorsing the behavior…..

There are rare instances when tactically walking away – or disengaging is an appropriate short term step…. But it’s just a temporary move…….

I learned that afternoon I would never be intimidated by bullies… and to never ever tolerate their behavior…and never enable or endorse their weak moral standard…..

Related Posts:

A Contingent Offer

 

Walt

 

Interesting unrelated facts:

-       The first CD ever released in the US was Bruce Springsteen’s “Born In The U.S.A.” album. The CD was released on June 4, 1984 and went on to become the best selling album of 1985 in the U.S.

-       Carly Simon’s 1972 hit “You’re So Vain” profiles an arrogant and self centered ex boy friend. The actual subject of the song was never revealed but she has left many clues over the years.

-       Bubble wrap was invented in 1957 – not as a packaging material or self-amusement – it was originally designed as a textured wallpaper.

 

 

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